This picture was taken at a time when I was so sick that I never knew if I was going to be able to drive or have an intelligent conversation or be able to stay vertical throughout the day.
You would never know it to look at me. You can’t even tell how much pain I was in by looking at this photo and how sleep deprived I was. This was when I was still able to “fake it“ and before it got so bad that I couldn’t push through anymore.
There was a time during my illness when NOBODY COULD TELL I WAS SICK. I was losing a lot of weight because it was too painful to eat and everybody was telling me how great I looked. Sometimes people would say “But you don’t look sick!”
People mean well but they don’t understand that when they tell you that you don’t look sick it feels invalidating because it’s as if all of the suffering you are going through is in your head and not real.
I’m here to tell you nothing could be further from the truth and no matter what you are struggling with there is a way out.
I had every reason in the world to give up when year after year went by with no solutions and no relief. I hung in there and I got my life and my health back and I get to live every day knowing I will never be sick again. There’s nothing in life that feels as good as that certainty.
I told myself I would never forget what I went through so that I could help other people avoid the unexpected sinkholes along the way but truth be told… I don’t viscerally remember how bad it was because I feel so good now and I was able to move on and into my new normal.
What I went through changed who I am and it changed my life forever. It changed my purpose and my intention.
Hanging on to your idea of who you are as a sick person is the best way to stay sick. You have to believe and picture what your life will be like when you get your health back.
No matter what your body is dealing with… auto immune or a weird chronic mystery illness or whatever… It’s NOT who you are. DO NOT let it define you.
Whatever your body gets into it can get out of. Never give up, never stop believing. Keep connected to your life and dreams as your true healthy self! #butyoudontlooksick https://monicahershaft.com